Skip to main content

The Annoying Matatu Neighbour

Hard Sweet Life

 Have you encountered an annoying ‘Matatu’ neighbor? Have you ever been the annoying one? Ever pissed off someone in the ‘matatu’? Have you been pissed off while travelling?

 ‘Matatu’s’ and buses often force us to be neighbors. Friendly or not depends on so many factors. Most of the time the journey ends with no mishaps but this is not always the case. Well there is the noisy loud music and some radio station that is not in a language you understand. There is also a rude tout who definitely has your change in his back pocket but for some reason (you may never understand) holds onto your change.

There is a neighbor who keeps staring at you like you are from outer space and especially if you are a lady in a miniskirt. He for some reason is either imagining you without it at all or, she is cursing you for having better legs than her. Another will not quit chewing loudly and when they talk on the phone you get baptized with most of the saliva. Another is still in the 18th century and has no idea what a toothbrush is, you wish they would just remain silent.

Another buys chicken and decides to eat from the bus. If you are a chicken lover, the idea of robbing them and jumping out of the window hunts you to the last bone. The chick seated next to a hot dude who won't stop tweeting about it to her friends ("Oh my God, he is hot! I'll alight when he does. lol!"). In some bizarre change of events she asks him to take a photo with her and write his phone number on her dial pad.

The most annoying one is the drunk who decides you are a hooker immediately he gets up from his drunken sleep. He decides his hands are Google crawler and wants them on your thighs. If you try and deny him the 'God given opportunity', he hurls insane insults loudly at you, causing total embarrassment. God forbid if it’s a 6 hour drive and no one alights on the way. The neighbor who has eaten a buffet the previous night and throws some whispering fats all the way. By the time you alight, your stomach is bloated and you are in an awful mood.

 I have also been a bad neighbor. If am in a bad mood or its very early in the morning, you can be sure I won’t talk back no matter how juicy your life is. Have you been a bad neighbor or have you sat next to one? What was the piss off factor?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To Believe or Not? Friend or Frenemy?

Should you trust your friend when they tell you your girlfriend or boyfriend is a fake? Should you consider it jealousy or do you go ahead and believe them? How do you handle the situation? James always kept an eye on his wife’s phone ever since his friend Timothy, told him he had spotted her in a compromising situation. He couldn’t divulge the details in case he was wrong but James was hell bent on finding the truth. He found nothing for the first two weeks and decided it was a bluff. He decided to surprise her and apologize for being such a dick the past two weeks. He got some beautiful flowers, got out of work some minutes before lunch and got to her workplace. He sat at a cafe just opposite their offices and called her up. Susan, his wife claimed to be so busy she couldn’t head out for lunch. A disappointed James got into his car and was about to head out of the parking lot when he spotted Susan get into a car right outside the office.  Out of curiosity, he f...
3 comments
Read more

What Am I Doing With My Life?

There are times when everything in your life seems not to be working out. Times when nothing you touch turns to Gold. And at that point in life, the question “What am I doing with my life?” seems like a tune you can’t get out of your head. Img source:http://www.wisestep.com/ You start questioning your sanity. Questioning how you made everything go wrong. Questioning God on the fate of your life. Blaming yourself. Blaming everyone else. Blaming the system. Blaming your life’s choices. Choices that seemed right at the time of making. Choices that have now brought you to this predicament. Choices you cannot go back and undo. And the question lingers on: what am I doing with my life?” “My life” encompasses many things. Could be a job that’s not working for you. You have no idea what the future and your job have in common. You feel stuck. When everyone else seems busy and enjoying themselves in the office, you are busy counting the hours till close of office. You have been apply...
Post a Comment
Read more

Appreciating Life

The real tragedy in life is not loosing your job, your fiancee or money. No,the real tragedy is not appreciating life itself. Being grateful that you are alive and kicking. That both your arms and legs are working and though you have no ability to throw the Javelin like Julius Yego, you still have the use of your hands. Though you can not run as fast as Kipchoge, you can walk to work if Kenya turned to Uganda. That you can appreciate both the rising and going down of the sun. That you not only can tell what color is green you can see it. The ability to enjoy full health except for the frequent cold bouts that come and go. The ability to have a place to sleep. The ability to swing or drag yourself out of bed every morning without any pain. And even though you have no closet full of new clothes and shoes at least you do not walk in tatters. Though you have no figure 8 like size 8, you have no deformities on any part of your body. We forget to thank God for all this blessings He has g...
2 comments
Read more