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The Annoying Matatu Neighbour

Hard Sweet Life

Have you encountered an annoying ‘Matatu’ neighbor? Have you ever been the annoying one? Ever pissed off someone in the ‘matatu’? Have you been pissed off while travelling?

 ‘Matatu’s’ and buses often force us to be neighbors. Friendly or not depends on so many factors. Most of the time the journey ends with no mishaps but this is not always the case. Well there is the noisy loud music and some radio station that is not in a language you understand. There is also a rude tout who definitely has your change in his back pocket but for some reason (you may never understand) holds onto your change.

There is a neighbor who keeps staring at you like you are from outer space and especially if you are a lady in a miniskirt. He for some reason is either imagining you without it at all or, she is cursing you for having better legs than her. Another will not quit chewing loudly and when they talk on the phone you get baptized with most of the saliva. Another is still in the 18th century and has no idea what a toothbrush is, you wish they would just remain silent.

Another buys chicken and decides to eat from the bus. If you are a chicken lover, the idea of robbing them and jumping out of the window hunts you to the last bone. The chick seated next to a hot dude who won't stop tweeting about it to her friends ("Oh my God, he is hot! I'll alight when he does. lol!"). In some bizarre change of events she asks him to take a photo with her and write his phone number on her dial pad.

The most annoying one is the drunk who decides you are a hooker immediately he gets up from his drunken sleep. He decides his hands are Google crawler and wants them on your thighs. If you try and deny him the 'God given opportunity', he hurls insane insults loudly at you, causing total embarrassment. God forbid if it’s a 6 hour drive and no one alights on the way. The neighbor who has eaten a buffet the previous night and throws some whispering fats all the way. By the time you alight, your stomach is bloated and you are in an awful mood.

 I have also been a bad neighbor. If am in a bad mood or its very early in the morning, you can be sure I won’t talk back no matter how juicy your life is. Have you been a bad neighbor or have you sat next to one? What was the piss off factor?

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